hoping he's still sleeping

this blog may  have typos.  maybe wont' make sense.  cause i heard a noise, but i'm hoping he's still sleeping.

my lovely loverman says to me, you have time to be creative when he's sleeping, after i told him was jealowus of him for his creative time.  i want' ted to strangel him.  because he has no.  freaking.  idea.

but he's a great dad, and an even greater friend, lover, artist, supporter, teacher, etc, etc.  he's awesome, weith an awlways great attitude.  me, not so mucth.

iit's just different as a momma.  it's relentless, and when the kid is sleeping (if you're one of the lucky few whose kid sleeps), you have anywhere from 5minutes to 2 hours to eat shower poop cry laundry dishes clean clean clean claen clean.  just imagining making time to wirte or draw takes too much time. 

yet here i am.  i even had time to make a cup of coffee (a rare shred of my single self) before i sat down.  i am focusing on blocvking out the pioles and pils of laundry screamaing my name, the fact that the dogs neesd a bath, the floor needing bvacuuming, the calls to the insureance compayn i need to make. 

i read/heard that mamas have to just chalk up the first year to baby, especially thouse of yus who are nursign.  i am learing to be ok with that.  but yeastereday, i got to work an hour in t he backyard, and antoher almost hour at spreading some paint on a canvas.  now, im' wirting, thought not very well, and am hoping if i just keep typing, ssomething magical will happen.

is it just me, or do the greatest thoughts/inspiration happen when we'er cleaning toilets or loating the dishwasher for the goddamned thouseanth time this week, and when i finally get down to typing, nothing but oatmeal semes to come out of my tired fingers?

i think i heard him again.  nope, i know i heard him.  thanks for the time.  hope to see you next nap.