the gift of presence

(thanks to my friend and teacher, kendall, for inspiring this post)

the holidays are upon us.  now's the time when the stores and the radio are filling your head with the pop sounds of christmas tunes, the scarves and scullies are coming out of the closets, and those of us with tight budgets begin to feel a creeping sense of dread.  whatever happened to that holiday magic?  it's only in our adulthood that we realize that someone had to have a tenuous relationship with a bank and/or credit card company to make those magical wish lists manifest on christmas morning.

it's also time for thanksgiving, and alternately, my birthday.  thanksgiving is the only holiday i truly look forward to.  not only was i born on that delicious fall day, but it remains the only holiday (to my knowledge) that is all about the gathering.  no ideologies, no presents, just food, friends and family.  and hopefully, fun.

this is my last year as a single woman.  after february, i will be a mother, and though i am already what i consider to be a wife and partner, it is with the birth of my son that i will be a truly committed and fully immersed new individual.  with the birth of my new self, and my husband's, we are learning quite a lot about quality over quantity.  we are both fortunate to have flexible schedules, some of which is conducive to working at home.  we hope to be spending a lot of artful, quality time with our little boy, loving every moment of watching him grow.

and, with the birth of a first baby, there is the customary baby shower, and mounds of free (and often excessive) advice.  we took on the dubious task of planning our own event, and so far, no one has judged us for it- at least not to our faces.  basically, with john's family a minimum of 10 hours north of us, and my own family and myself as different as we could possibly be, we decided, with a little help from some lovely friends, to open our home up to any and all who would be sharing their energies with us now and into the future.  many of our friends are artists and yogis, and all share our core values of quality time, never wasting an ounce of precious energy on any pursuit that isn't conducive to loving.  we thought that since we wanted to celebrate our love, our transforming home, and our budding family with so many different kinds of people, that it would be a good idea to host a party, and should anyone want to shower us with gifts, we would gladly and gratefully accept.

but what we want more than presents is presence.  there hasn't been a time in the last 3 years, that i have regretted spending time with the people that i love.  i've missed concerts, parties, one-of-a-kind events, and even meals just talking with people who enrich and inspire me.  it is this gift, this kind of sharing, that i want our son to know more than any thing he can touch with his hands or buy with his money.  to know that kindness and understanding are the norm, that listening is crucial and nourishing, and that he can do anything he wants with his body and mind, as long as he consciously and judiciously feeds his soul.

we're looking forward to celebrating our new adventure with our friends and family.  we sincerely hope everyone will bring with them the most thoughtful of gifts- presence.

love to all.